Chapter Two

"Once class finished she gave me the biggest bear hug."



At the end of the day I left the school grounds and my dad was gently leaning on the car waiting for me, I went and hugged him.
We got in the car and he drove off.
Once I reached home, and after lunch I opened whatsapp

I talked to Shahad, and then I received a message from Abdullah:

Abdullah: Laish ma kalamteeni this morning before school?
Me: Wa3alaikom ilSalam ;p Nisait
Abdullah: You've never forgotten before..
Me: lol shda3wa, it's only this one day.
Abdullah: It better be ;p How was school?
Me: Boring as always, how was university?
Abdullah: 5alya..
Me: Haaw laish! ilMafroo'9 at the end of the course they attend !
Abdullah: They do..
Me: 3ayal shlon fa'9ya?
Abdullah: You're not there.

I was quiet for a while..

Abdullah: Wain ri7tay!
Me: Kaaani!
Abdullah: shfeech?
Me: Wala shay.
Abdullah: Jana jawbay, shfeech?
Me: Gam a7ati exams that's all.
Abdullah: Akeed?
Me: Abi anam x__x Bas Jeerana gam yabnoon T_T
Abdullah: Ok, Change the subject. Namay in the Guest room.
Me: Shdarak :o
Abdullah: Remember when we first met? They were painting your room and you had nowhere to go so you went to the farthest room in the house :p
Me: You remember that x__x
Abdullah: I remember everything :$
Me: Me tooo :$ Youre dp (display picture) was Your car, and the only thing written in your bio was "You're all I think about" :$
Abdullah: Eee oo the first thing you told me was "Na3am?" chinich bit6igeeni -_-
Me: LOL Ya3ni ballah shagool when a random stranger DM's me "Hello" :p
Abdullah: Nothing :p You go into their profile and read their bio :$
Me: Well I did! :$
Abdullah: and it's still true, bas I had to change it xD
Me: You talk to me all the time, Ya3ni shlon still true :p
Abdullah: Between each sentence.. Between each heart beat.You're the first thing I think of when I wake up, and you're the last thing I think of before I go to sleep.
Me: 3abood..
Abdullah: 3youna,
Me: Ana banam now, I'll talk to you later.
Abdullah: A77 Ok. I know there's something wrong..
Me: I'll be Ok, Good night <3
Abdullah: Sweet dreams ;*

I closed my phone and put it away; I stared at the ceiling, remembering things that happened, imagining things that can happen.. Wondering how the past could be any different, and wondering how my future would be. I lay there for hours, too many to count.
The knocks of the neighbour's stopped, but I still didn't sleep. I thought too much, and I had too much to think about. The scenarios grew longer, and my frown got deeper. I never believed in relationships until I met him, and I was going to leave it strictly limited.
I never knew these feelings could exist, the feelings of love.
It was so hard for me to keep up with my emotions, and I've always believed, I've always known - that love without marriage is useless. I knew I had to end this.

Chapter One

I hung up the phone, and fell on my bed.
i started weeping into the pillow until i fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning with puffy eyes and a bad mood; I checked my phone and answered all the messages. i went downstairs to have breakfast.

Mum: Jana why are you always in a bad mood?
Me: I didn't sleep well
Mum: And why didn't you sleep well?
Me: I don't know! it's not like i do it on purpose
Mum: Well i hope it won't affect your studies since it's your last year of high school
Me: I'll be fine.

I left home, and dragged my way to the car.
My dad dropped me off at school and offered to pick me up early since i looked tired and we weren't studying much at school these days. I told him not to.

Shahad: Janaaaaaaa!!

and she jumped on me for a hug.
I hugged her back, and faked a smile.

Shahad: Shfeech?
Me: Wala shay
Shahad: I'm serious. Shfeech?
Me: 3abood called last night.
Shahad: What :o No way! Tell me everything!
Me: We were talking 3adi chan faj2a he calls, i hung up so he called again and i didnt answer! He texted me telling me to answer and i told him no. He said he wanted to hear my voice, and i told him la2. 7an 3ala rasi for hours until i couldnt say no anymore. He sweet talked me :( and convinced me it'll be just that once. So he called and i picked up, and we talked for an hour.
Shahad: Inzain why are you sad!
Me: Because i know this is wrong! i said i'd never do this! This is getting too much to handle :( Oo after hearing his voice last night, I want to hear it again and again and again, and i want to see him talk :(
Shahad: No! You will not see this guy behind your parents' back!
Me: and i don't want to! Especially after what he recently told me..
Shahad: He also told you he'll try his best!
Me: Umah moo ra'9ya! Ballah 3ala shnu try his best?! Etha ihya ma tabeeh yitzawaj now, oo ma tabee ya5ith wa7da moo mit7ajbah min a private university.
Shahad: Yet! ma dashaitay the university yet!
Me: Gal ma tabeeh yitzawaj for another three years. I'd be in my third year of university, and twenty one years old. What if i get married before then :(
Shahad: Gooleelhom kilhom no!
Me: On what basis? What would my excuse be?

I started crying...

Shahad: Don't cry :(
Me: Shahoud.. I can't.. Do you know how hard it is being in a relationship you know won't work, but stay in it anyways? Shahad. I .. I .. I love him.

She gasped.

The bell rang and it was time for us to go back to class.

While we were sitting in class, i started day dreaming and my eyes started watering.

Teacher: Jana are you Ok?
Me: I'm not feeling well, may i go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Sure..

I stared at my reflection for what seemed like forever. My dark grey eyes seemed to only speak in tears, my small lips would only tremble. I washed my face, and pulled myself together and went back to class.
I walked into the classroom;
Her round face, Her full lips and wide hazel eyes, Her small round nose, her frizzy curly hair.. That was my best friend. *Is my best friend, and always will be.
She's been my best friend since i could remember..

She smiled her warm welcoming smile once she saw me, and i automatically smiled too.
I sat next to her and she held my hand to comfort me.

Once class finished she gave me the biggest bear hug.